I choose to believe that there is a turning point (or many turning points) in every human life. Sometimes this threshold appears when we acknowledge that we have fewer days ahead than have already passed. Sometimes it’s because one phase of life or a career ends and another must be embraced. Sometimes it’s because we surrender to an omnipresent whack on the side of the head, experience a life-changing gain (the lottery, birth of a child or new relationship) or loss (death of a beloved or relinquishment of a dream). Whether these events occur in the second half or second third of life, after our roots have gone deeply into the world, this turning point is (although we often cannot see it at the time) an "opportunity."

Every day, via my web site, at my lectures, in the every day comings and goings of my life and work, I meet people in the havoc of change. If something I do or say triggers hope, they tell me about the difficult time in their life. Sometimes, they think I can ease their transition so they ask (and are often willing to pay) for my advice.

When I began studies for my counseling certificate a wise advisor asked me what my professional life entailed. "I design exercise and nutrition programs for people who want to be healthier," I responded. She tilted her head and asked, "Who are you to tell other people what to do?" I regaled her with my professional background, prestigious honors, experiences with valued mentors and teachers. She repeated her question. "Who are you to tell other people what to do?" I responded with an overview of my curriculum vitae, training, certifications, accomplishments. She continued to use a technique I later learned was called, "broken record." "Who are you to tell other people what to do?" I looked at this woman whose rumpled appearance disguised an out of shape body, whose desk was littered with paper and an ashtray spilling over with cigarette butts and thought, "Sister, you will learn a lot from me this year." Perhaps, later, as she asked for my perspective on lifestyle change, she did. But, more importantly, I learned that most people who say, "Tell me what to do," or "I know what I need to do, I just can’t seem to do it," are (simply) standing at that place where the road branches and they don’t know whether to go right or left.

It is impossible to be on this earth without encountering a confused or unhappy fellow traveler who wants your advice. Sometimes people need advice, but many times it is not my job to "tell them what to do" but to be an empathetic guide or coach who uses my resources and experiences to help them figure out what step to take by asking them the questions that reveal the trite expression, "we have everything we need inside us," is mostly true.

If you are making change, seeking or giving help or want to recreate the map for your life there are many wonderful resources to support change--especially if you have access to the internet where all you need to do is place your cursor in the URL box and search for ANYTHING. But, seeker beware! There are charlatans and entrepreneurs lurking eager to take advantage of your lack of knowledge about your first, second and third steps to change. So, when you reach the critical juncture of your next turning point , be aware, "This is your life!" Choose your support wisely.

P. S. Great resource book: LIFE STRATEGIES by Phil McGraw