If you are eating a balanced and varied diet you are eating carbohydrates. Carbohydrates are fascinating chemical creatures that are made when the sun precipitates a process called photosynthesis that forces water on a carbon chain. It's this process of HYDRATING the CARBONS that gives carbohydrates their name.

Carbohydrates are nothing more than various combinations of sugars. If their chemical structure is uncomplicated we call them simple carbohydrates. Scientists use more complicated names: monosaccharides or disaccharides. There are three monosaccharides: glucose, (blood sugar), fructose (fruit sugar) and galactose (a milk sugar). They are VERY sweet.

When any two monosaccharides combine in nature or a factory you get a disaccharide. These two sugar molecules, also sweet, include sucrose-the white table sugar, brown sugar or maple syrup made when glucose and fructose are combined; lactose-the sugar in milk that's a combination of glucose and galactose; and maltose-the malt sugar that's made when two glucose molecules combine in beer, cereals and germinating seeds.

Sugars love to connect with one another so mono-and disaccharides can continue to combine to make long, less sweet, and more complex chains called polysaccharides or starches. These include, on the less complex end of the spectrum, carrots and potatoes, and, at the more complex end, cruciferous and not very sweet vegetables like broccoli or the meat group food, beans.

When simple carbohydrates get in our stomach they break apart and are digested very quickly. However, our body digests complex carbohydrates with varying degrees of difficulty. For example, the starch in potatoes seems to be digested very well. In fact, a potato starch is broken down in the intestines to simple sugar components so quickly and easily that potato starch makes blood sugar rise almost as fast as if you'd eaten sugar itself.

In contrast there are other long chained carbohydrates (like the ones in beans), that may contain no more sugar molecules than potato carbohydrates, but are put together in a way that makes it hard for the digestive enzymes in the stomach and intestines to get to them. These oligosaccharides pass, undigested, into the large intestine where bacteria ferment them producing an oxygen based gas as a waste product. Gas from beans and other gas-producing foods can cause embarrassing noises and odors that are the resource for many jokes, They also give some of us very uncomfortable bloating and cramps.

This physical discomfort is not always a result of eating a "gassy" food or a food that produces more gas than usual. Rather it is caused by a trapping of gas in a pinched off section of the five foot long large intestine that, to fit inside your body, is forced into some mighty sharp folds and bends. Muscles in the bands in the wall of the large intestine that normally hastens the gas along can spasm, shutting off escape. Bacteria that live there continue to produce their gaseous waste products causing a section of the bowel to expand. The end result is a distention of the bowel wall that some people call "bloating." You might produce a lot of gas, but expel it with no more than some social embarrassment. However, if you are stressed, nervous, a smoker or drink lots of caffeine the muscle spasm in the bowel gets even stronger. In short, it isn't the amount of gas that produces the distention, it's the entrapment by crimping somewhere along the bowel. That's why, if complex carbohydrates give you physical discomfort, you should take a look at some of your other habits.

Premenstrual women often complain about bloating. It may be that their uterine contractions are causing other muscles in the abdomen to spasm also. When compounded by the normal hormone changes that accompany the cycle and cause mood swings in some women - especially those who drink lots of coffee or smoke cigarettes- you can understand why bloating and cramps are often symptoms that accompany menses.

I admit it. Despite complaints about "gas" I'm encouraging folks to transition to a lifestyle filled with more complex carbohydrates. This includes beans which are also rich in digestible, usable carbohydrates that cause no gas problems plus deliver so much iron, niacin and protein it's as if they were carved off a cow-without the fat associated with beef. And, as an unabashed anti-osteoporosis crusader it's important to remind you that, outside the milk group, beans are your best source of calcium.

That's why, it would be a shame, after all these accolades, to avoid them because of a little gas. After all. Life's a gas!! (And you can buy and use Beano!)