Each day our life is filled with change. Some are dramatic: a sudden change in weather that creates dangerous driving conditions, a new assignment at work, adjustments in an important relationship or a diagnosis of a life-threatening disease. Others are more subtle: a food you come to realize doesn't agree with you, a change in lighting as the days get shorter, a favorite chair that doesn't support your back as well as it used to.

These events, and more, are your "stressors". Your awareness of needing to change to these is your "stress". How you respond (vs. react) to stress is based on your belief system and the inner choice you make regarding what will be the best solution to your dilemma. That choice affects the quality of your life. If, as a youngster you were taught healthy coping methods for dealing with stress you probably manage quite effectively today. If you didn't get the early support and appropriate lessons or didn't trust your caregivers, your method of dealing with stress may be based on an erroneous belief or unwise inner choice.

The goal of stress management is not to remove you from the circumstances that threaten your equilibrium. Instead it is to help you accept life's challenges as adventures and to face what life has placed before you.

Instead of positioning yourself as a lion entering battle when you encounter stress, make a mental paradigm shift. Notice, without judging, the belief system that causes the thoughts and feelings that come with your stress. Notice, too, whether the choice you make to deal with the stressful event is self defeating or moving you to a more positive life. If it is the former don't miss the opportunity to reparent yourself and change YOUR life. When you can't change the circumstances you have to change yourself. In short, you don't have to be in a twelve step recovery program to make use of one of their useful sayings: "God, grant me the ability to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."