If, when you want to lose weight, you have (or still do) alternated between the experience of success because you follow your meal plan (you call it "being good") and falling off the plan and regaining lost weight (you call it being bad), consider the following tips to break this self-defeating cycle and make lasting lifestyle changes.

1. Learn what works.

Rigid dieting has a 95 percent failure rate. Successful weight management is predicated on exercise, good nutrition, education and support. Creating a deficit of about 500 calories a day for one week should result in a one-pound weight loss. Most people can reach this goal by exercising in a manner that burns about 250-300 calories/bout with some intervals of intensity (which creates an "afterburn") plus making changes in food intake including a decrease in added fat and sugar and an increase in dietary fiber.

2. Become Physically, Not Externally, Connected to Eating.

Internal hunger cues--such as a rumbling stomach, a slight headache, fatigue, irritability and decreased concentration--are meant to remind you to meet your energy requirements and maintain your natural set point weight. Developing an ability to recognize signals of hunger and satiety can help you acquire the internal power to regulate your food intake.

3. Use the Rating of Perceived Hunger (RPH) Scale.

Using this scale can make you more aware of your internal hunger and satiety cues. On a scale of 1-10 measure your hunger & satiety before you eat with 1 as a signal for extreme hunger and 10 a signal for extreme fullness. With this scale in mind, begin to read your body's signals. Your target range should be between 3 and 8. If you wait until your perception is 0, you may eat too much too fast, particularly since it takes your brain 15 to 20 minutes to sense that your body is full. You should begin to eat at 3 on the RPH scale and stop at 7 or 8, when you're comfortably full and satisfied. That requires eating slowly and paying some attention to the eating process. In time this will become an unconscious "habit."

4. Distinguish Between Emotional and Physical Hunger.

Physical hunger is a physiological process that occurs every three to four hours. When you don't listen to hunger cues, your hunger subsides and your body begins to slow down to conserve energy. Emotional hunger involves eating when you're sad, happy, anxious or bored. Understanding when you are trying to satisfy emotional needs with food can help you find more appropriate ways to meet those needs.

5. Neutralize Food.

There are no good or bad foods--all foods are okay when eaten in moderation. Forbidding certain foods can make you want them all the more. If portion control is a problem with particular foods, try specific strategies with these items, for example measure out one serving of potato chips and put the bag back in the pantry.

6. Do Not Skip Meals.

Eating frequently throughout the day (3 small meals and 2-3 snacks) stimulates your metabolism. Skipping meals (especially breakfast) can decrease your metabolism.

7. Dispel Myths; Do Not Create Them.

A safe weight loss is 1 or 2 pounds a week, not ten. Be wary of supplements and meal replacement products. Product testimonials may or may not be true; spokespersons may or may not have any credentials. Remember, a healthy body comes from healthy eating.

8. Be Supportive, Not Critical.

People lose weight at different rates. Weight may drop off quickly at first and then plateau, or vice versa. The important thing is that long-term healthy behavior gets results. Reassure yourself that you are working hard and remember that hard work pays off.

9. Watch Your Language.

Notice, without judgement, if you find yourself thinking "I will never lose weight" or "I feel fat"? Watch for thoughts that are negative or irrational, rather than supportive of your goals. See if you can accurately describe your mood. Are you angry, sad, afraid? Understand that "fat" is not a feeling.

10. Change the Reward System.

You are probably used to rewarding yourself and being rewarded by others for losing pounds, rather than for altering your behavior. Create a system of rewards for the positive changes you make, rather than the numbers you see on the scale.