My friend, Jeannie's, Memorial Service is tomorrow morning. Jeannie died last week seven weeks after she was diagnosed with lung cancer. Jeannie, in her mid-seventies, lit her last cigarette when she was 31. However, she never quit smoking because her husband smoked two packs of cigarettes every day until he had a heart attack last summer (almost fifty years). .

Ironically that was about the time Jeannie began complaining she didn't feel up to par. She's adverse to the medical world so she avoided seeing a doctor. Finally, in February she succumbed and began the inevitable round of tests in an attempt to reveal the source of her pain. In March she called me one evening and in her quiet voice said, "I just want you to know I won't be available for awhile. I'm having gall bladder surgery tomorrow." My response was, "Are you comfortable with this diagnosis?" She said they'd seen stones in her gall bladder and decided this was the source of the pain.

Intuitively it wasn't a fit for me but I'm not a doctor and had to trust the diagnosis was right. Indeed the gall bladder was removed and Jeannie's recovery was relatively normal except for continued pain. It was then I sensed that something was terribly wrong. Her reluctance to complain combined with delivery of medication to ease her discomfort rather than looking for a new source, prolonged the inevitable diagnosis which came after more sophisticated tests revealed the tumor and metastases to her hip bone-the source of the ongoing pain.

That intuitive self I've learned to trust triggered insistance that Jeannie, another friend and I unsuccessfully attempted to calendar for more than a year. Happily that weekend was several days after her diagnosis. She had more sophisticated pain medication but was constantly nauseous. She'd lost ten pounds in two weeks because food didn't interest her. I used my background in pharmacy to adjust her drug regimen and within 24 hrs she was pain and nausea free, rested and able to keep down a small but decent meal. The remaining two days were filled with the experiences friends who know time is limited share. There was laughter, tears, long walks on the beach, naps, videos and conversations I will never forget. Jeannie returned in good spirits and ready to attack the "to do" list we'd helped her create for enjoying her prospective six month progrnosis. She'd decided against experimental treatment that might add another six months to her life.

A week later Jeannie's husband called to tell me that Jeannie was in the hospital. Her family persuaded her to try the treatment after all, but her weak now ninety pound body couldn't tolerate the challenge. Her severe reaction precipitated excruciating pain and she was heavily sedated. The doctors told the family it was time to provide hospice services. Happily there was a bed at a wonderful Hospice House near my home where Jeannie had a loving and peaceful last month of her life and we were able to bring closure to our relationship.

I do not share this story so you will feel sorry or sad for me. I share it to remind you how precious life and friendship are. Today is the only day that is certain. Each day needs to end with thanks and assurance that we did and said the necessary deeds and words to feel completion with those whose lives have touched us. It's the little things that require celebration, not the big events. Happily Jeannie is closer to me than ever before. I used to have to pick up the phone to have a conversation with her. Now I simply talk to the air and as once again I hear her saying in my head the words she repeated through the personal and professional ups and downs of my life, "I am here for you."

Last but not least know this. Second hand smoke can kill. Every time I see someone with a cancer stick in their hand I shudder. I cannot tell you how many potential friendships failed to develop because my acquaintance reached for a cigarette and a light. If you smoke, quit. If you don't smoke, stay away from people who do and places that tolerate it. Lung cancer is too often diagnosed too late. We cannot avoid losing our friends but losing them too early is the worst loss of all.

Enjoy today.